I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
