Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
