No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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