I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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