i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
