it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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