God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
