he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
