And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
