so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Buhtt sex?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
