I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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