plz talk dirty to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
