People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
