My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
