sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
