I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
