I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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