I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
