it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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