sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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