why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
