so that wasnt chicken after all
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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