I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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