it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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