don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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