ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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