I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
