:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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