Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
