Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
