Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
