if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
