you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
