You're a womanizer and a bitch.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
