apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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