Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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