Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
