I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
