Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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