I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
