nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
