haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
