The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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