I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Every concussion has its silver lining
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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