i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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