we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
