Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
