How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
