my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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