she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
