Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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