I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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