Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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