Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
