This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
