I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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