I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
