I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
