Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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