For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
