nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
