this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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