My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
