I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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