Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize