he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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