His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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