Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
