I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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