Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
