she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize