Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
