I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
