you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
