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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed

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