.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
